Excessive Contemplation and Procrastination

I have a big problem with writing: I ponder and agonize for hours on end, but in the end I often end up writing nothing at all. Even though this problem of mine earned me a rather terrible grade on an in class essay this year, I still think I've greatly improved.

In elementary and middle school, I always had high marks in spelling and grammar because I have a keen eye for minute imperfections. On the other hand, my perfectionism would often create unrealistic expectations for myself. This ironically lowered the quality of my work, especially in elementary and middle school, since I would have to force myself to care less about my assignments so that I had something to turn in by the deadline. I also have a somewhat rebellious side and I typically don't like to follow formulas, as I sometimes feel like they are monotonous and inhibit creativity. In my freshman year, these bad characteristics of me manifested in my writing. I was constantly pessimistic and cynical and I neglected to turn in simple essays because I felt like they weren't nearly good enough (this was often true, because I barely converted any of my thoughts into writing – probably due to a lack of confidence).

So far this year, I've really turned things around, despite my continual struggle with procrastination and sleeping late. I've participated in class discussions more in the first half-semester of this year than I did in my whole freshman year. Also, I'm actually completing my annotation assignments. Overall, I think that my writing style is loosening up a bit, so my thoughts flow more easily. Even if they're imperfect, it's much easier to whittle unfinished writing into a decent essay than to create the whole essay perfectly in one go.

Although I used to pride myself on my vocabulary, I've noticed that I often seem to suffer from lethologica, otherwise known as the tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon. I definitely have room to improve in all aspects of writing, especially efficiency.

Vicariously Living through Literature

I've read three out of the ten most challenged books of 2014: Persepolis, The Kite Runner, and Perks of Being a Wallflower. In all three of these books, I've noticed a very interesting similarity: They're all told in a sincere, intimate tone somewhat akin to a diary or a conversation. Admittedly, they all have some "inappropriate" aspects such as obscene language, violence, and rape. However, it is absurd to ban literature simply because it may upset certain people. I said in an earlier blog post that failure is an essential part of success. In the same way, knowledge of bad things is necessary for us to appreciate the good things in life. Many parents try to protect their children by raising them far away from any dangerous influences, but it very often backfires and results in one of two things: their child becomes overly dependent and doesn't know how to function without someone holding his or her hand, or their child becomes rebellious and indulges in said dangerous activities after his or her parents are gone.

Out of the three books, The Kite Runner was probably my favorite. I remember carrying it around the whole day and much like Luo, eating was less important to me than finishing the book. The story of the novel isn't pretty, but it forges a strong connection between reader and writer. When we read, we often live the characters' lives vicariously through the text on the page. Everyone knows of the saying, "Learn from your mistakes." By reading of the struggles of a diverse variety of people from different walks of life, we learn of how they deal with their problems and we learn to apply their situations to our own.

If books like these were banned, I would probably still read them if I knew I could get away with it. On the other hand, if they had been banned my whole life and I never had the joy of reading anything, I might not risk it. If I catch a glimpse outside of the cave, my curiosity would get the better of me and I would try hard to surreptitiously find books to read.
I remember reading somewhere that Fahrenheit 451 was banned in certain places. I find that hilariously ironic.

Is the Allegory of the Cave Outdated?

Although our world has certainly become more technologically advanced in the past few thousands of years, the "Allegory of the Cave" still applies. As a direct reference to Plato's famous allegory, the oft referenced movie "The Matrix" presents the same exact situation, but with an advanced simulation tailored for the peoples' minds as opposed to a parade of shadows across a wall.

The allegory can easily be extended to religion - what if God is actually controlling everything we see and do and free will is nothing but an idea? After all, it would be easier to create a simulation of a world than to create an actually palpable world, wouldn't it?

In my opinion, our exponentially advancing technology has made the allegory even more relevant to our lives today. With improvements in virtual reality, it has become less of a stretch to consider the possibility that our world is nothing but a mere projection of something, or someone's imagination. Although I say that the allegory is relevant, I prefer not to expend my brainpower on considering the reality of my existence. While it would certainly be interesting to absquatulate from the cave and see the "true world", I can't help but feel wary of it. After years with his eyes wide open, Cypher decided in the end that ignorance is bliss and ultimately decided to go right back into the cave. Even though I'm curious and I haven't opened my eyes completely yet, I figure that the real world will show itself to me if it's truly necessary, or maybe I'll find out after I've died.