Excessive Contemplation and Procrastination

I have a big problem with writing: I ponder and agonize for hours on end, but in the end I often end up writing nothing at all. Even though this problem of mine earned me a rather terrible grade on an in class essay this year, I still think I've greatly improved.

In elementary and middle school, I always had high marks in spelling and grammar because I have a keen eye for minute imperfections. On the other hand, my perfectionism would often create unrealistic expectations for myself. This ironically lowered the quality of my work, especially in elementary and middle school, since I would have to force myself to care less about my assignments so that I had something to turn in by the deadline. I also have a somewhat rebellious side and I typically don't like to follow formulas, as I sometimes feel like they are monotonous and inhibit creativity. In my freshman year, these bad characteristics of me manifested in my writing. I was constantly pessimistic and cynical and I neglected to turn in simple essays because I felt like they weren't nearly good enough (this was often true, because I barely converted any of my thoughts into writing – probably due to a lack of confidence).

So far this year, I've really turned things around, despite my continual struggle with procrastination and sleeping late. I've participated in class discussions more in the first half-semester of this year than I did in my whole freshman year. Also, I'm actually completing my annotation assignments. Overall, I think that my writing style is loosening up a bit, so my thoughts flow more easily. Even if they're imperfect, it's much easier to whittle unfinished writing into a decent essay than to create the whole essay perfectly in one go.

Although I used to pride myself on my vocabulary, I've noticed that I often seem to suffer from lethologica, otherwise known as the tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon. I definitely have room to improve in all aspects of writing, especially efficiency.